I may not live on the front lines of the war-torn Middle East but I, like every other human being, live in enemy territory. The enemy? Satan. He attacks in whispers, in shouts, and every possible delivery in between. Some of these attacks are subtle. You might not even make the association. Some attacks are a bold, brazen, broad daylight drive-by. When we recognize the attack, we build up our defenses. We put on the armor of God. We fight! But what happens when it’s a sneak attack? We must recognize it first which is sometimes an almost impossible task. We need our friends, our loved ones, and our prayer warriors to point out what we cannot see. Sometimes, through prayer and persistence, God makes it abundantly clear.
I’ve been hit with a sneak attack lately that related to this very blog. I have been feeling the call to write. I’ve felt it my whole life and always enjoyed the physical act of writing letters to people, writing my ideas down, scripting conversations so that I could read into them a little more, but recently a bigger urge has been washing over me. God has laid it on my heart to put my thoughts down where they can be of use instead of just traipsing around in my head. I think the story of my writing is the stuff for another telling but now let’s just say, He was insisting. I was doing a lot of lip-service about getting started and acknowledging the call but that’s where my participation stopped. I was attacking myself. I wondered, loudly, why anyone would want to read my thoughts. I wondered how my writing could possibly be entertaining or moving enough to mean anything to anyone other than me. The enemy was cheering me on from the sidelines. Finally, I could stall no more. I knew my time had come. I needed and wanted to write. Que the enemy…The bill for our internet services grew outrageously out of control until service was cancelled. Do you hear the snicker behind the quiet deed? The enemy knew it would only take a flimsy excuse like that to sideline my momentum.
With my resolve beginning to grow, I knew I only needed my word-processing software and not the whole world wide web. Ready for this? My oldest daughter called me and desperately needed my laptop at her house. Her laptop wasn’t staying connected to the internet to access her online degree classes. Do you hear the enemy’s giggle as the laptop is handed over? My daughter promised two weeks of use and then I’d get it right back. I decided that wasn’t too long to wait and THEN I’d get started…I promised. Two weeks went by and the laptop was waiting for me to go pick it up. By then, my youngest daughter had come home for Christmas and was working diligently on her own laptop. The symbolism wasn’t lost on me and the guilt was seeping in. As I headed for the car keys to go pick up my laptop, I watched in slow-motion…you know how disasters happen that way right before your very eyes…as the cup of water in my 4-year-old granddaughter’s hand was moving and then tilting and then dripping and then pouring water all over the busy keyboard under my daughter’s fingers. A mad dash ensued to prevent the inevitable and we managed to stave off total disaster. After dripping and drying, we discovered that only the 6’s, the t, and the y didn’t work. In my mind, I was trying to mentally list how many words used t and y. Yeah, too many. A call to HP confirmed it had to be shipped to them and would thankfully be repaired. We just had to wait for the shipping box to arrive and they would try to do this all as expeditiously as possible. Now, I hear downright cackling from the enemy. As you have probably guessed, my baby needed to take my laptop back to college with her as soon as we could go pick it up from her sister. The thing was, I now saw all the attacks. Everything quietly orchestrated to keep me from sharing God’s word and my, all-to-willing participation to give in to the despair and procrastination.
Well, not this time Satan. My pen and my 99 cent spiral notebooks have given me the platform to shout out the promises, the love, and the calling that keeps working its way into my life.
We all have our enemy attacks. All of us. Some are as harmless as not being able to use our computers. Some are downright tragic and debilitating. Many are in-between. When you listen and remember to Be Still, you hear the behind-the-scenes war that our enemy tries to wage, but most importantly, you hear God speaking His Will over your life. Who will you listen to? Who will have control in your territory today?